Archive for December, 2008

Au Revoir 2008!

December 30, 2008




So, here it is… seeing as tomorrow I will be working most of the day, and then heading over to my homies for celebrations, I know I won’t be able to post until next year. 

I would say 2008 has been the most historic year of our generation. It is pretty rad that we can be a part of every event that has occurred this year. Granted, a lot has happened that we should not be proud of in this world, but I would say that things are definitely on the up and up. 

As I said before, sadly, I fall into the category of people who come up with ways to get their shit together due to the changing of the guard that is our calendar. I have been accumulating these things in my head over the past few days. Some of my resolutions fall into the “should not say out loud” category, while others I think I will put in writing as to motivate myself to really try to do..

In no particular order…. 


*Make a fool of myself. Often. Avoid being too cool for anything.

*Go to dance dance party party

*Stop drinking regular pop. Eventually, dabble in giving up diet pop, too.

*Move my body more (ddpp, anyone?) in general 


*Stop even thinking about smoking again

*Eat a salad every day that I can afford one

*Go see live music again. Why did I stop doing that?

*Hang out with MAB in her ‘hood

*Make more of an effort to see my friends. For real, though. 

*Start eating lunch. (real food, too, not crap)


*Stop acting like this wedding is the worst thing that ever happened to me. Its not. I just don’t like planning shit. 

*Stop eating SPKs every f-ing day. Cut down on sugar intake in general

*Learn more in the cooking department.

*Reconnect with everyone who is standing up in my wedding. These are the people who are most important to me, yet I feel like I am growing farther and farther away from them. 

*Start a book club! 


*Purchase a glue gun. Use it on something crafty.

*Make all those hair accessories I keep talking about making. Possibly with aforementioned glue gun. 

*Stop dressing like a scumbag. (Seriously- throw away clothes that have hair dye or bleach on them. for real.)



*Write on the damn blog. 


*Actually feel confident about myself. 

*Eat things that will not make my bowel more irritable than it already is.

*Take a class on doing updos. (as long as we are not learning prom hair.)


*Accept how my family is evolving and changing. Attempt to embrace the aspects of it that may not be easy. 


*Tell Man-friend how much I love him. Make sure he knows how much better he makes my life. 

*Have more nights out with my ladies. 




*Show more pride in myself. 


This is just the start of this list really… I guess there will always be a ton of things that everyone wants to change/alter/better about themselves. Why is it that it takes the changing of a single digit to make us become suddenly so aware of ourselves and our faults?

There are also a number of things I would like to add to my life in 2009….

*Make Man-friend my legal partner and husband.

*Pin-up mermaid tattoo (that looks something like this… almost)




* Add more love into my home



Actually- I would prefer if he look more like this…



Any boston terrier would be lovely though. Beggars can’t be choosers, right?

*An octopus tattoo would also be a nice addition to my arm… I just haven’t figured out what I for sure want it to look like, yet.





I hope your list has many things on it– not just DON’Ts and STOPS. I can’t even begin to tell you how many of those I had to rethink…



So- here is to you, dear friends! Let us dive into 2009 like we haven’t a care in the world. As the world is changing so much around us, live your life so you can look back and know that you changed with it.


Now get out there and live each week of 2009 like it is Shark Week!!






So Daphne isn’t jealous

December 29, 2008

Upon reviewing my postings so far, I realized that I have been favoring Leroy in the photo department. Also, this made me realize that I do not really take pictures of Daphne the way I do Leroy. 

*Another resolution! Take more photos of Daphne.

Or- Stop being a creepy cat lady who takes tons of pictures of her felines and posts them on her blog. 

Hey- it is still 2008!


awareness of the closing of 08…

December 29, 2008

I hate to admit it, but I am rapidly realizing that I am one of those awful people who really does think that their whole life is going to get a jump start come the new year. As I just found myself looking up yoga and dance classes online, I realized that whether I like it or not, the new year does something to my brain.

Is this going to be the year that I actually get my shit together and move my body more? I hope so. I found this super rad “class” that I am going to try to go to…  Seriously- this sounds like the most fun ever. Check it out and contact me if you want to go.

YOU JUST GO DANCE. beta/resources/freebies/77... beta/resources/freebies/77...


This is on the many lists of things I am going to start doing this year. (hopefully)

This morning I hung out with one of my #1 homies BB. She is the best. We dined, then went on a car washing adventure. There is something mildly frightening, yet strangely exhilarating about being in the car as it neutrally moves through a barrage of soapy rainbow colored bubbles and spongy goodness. 





















I told BB that I was going to investigate ways to better ourselves. She listens to my random ramblings and totally supports me in everything I do. The best part about that is BB not only listens to my crazy 5 minute brainstorms and motivations, she never judges if I do not follow through on said thoughts.

 BB got married rather recently, but I have the ongoing pressure of the six month mark. I am just a few days away from being able to say that my wedding is less than six months away. Above all things that plague me about this day– (second being the financial extravaganza it is) is that I will look like this… index.php?cPath=53... index.php?cPath=53...

For the record- finding pictures of a bridal pig? Not as funny or easy as I hoped. I just do not want to look back on the pictures and think “why didn’t I get my lazy ass in gear?”, or just plain old “I look gross.” That would most definitely be the pitts.

Anyway, here is my biggest obstacle in life. While in the carwash, a rather zen-like atmosphere, if I do say so myself, I cracked the code to myself. (with BB’s support)

I think I am too cool for EVERYTHING. 

I know, I know, how could that be? Everything, you say? I think I just figured out why I don’t do anything, ever. I think I am too cool. Maybe just letting myself go completely (not in the wash myself with a rag on a stick way, but in the let go of my inhibitions kind of way), will make my life better. 

I am so afraid that I will look ridiculous in front of people, that I forget that looking like a damn fool is extremely fun. And well, it is good for a person. Any time I am in a situation that I am not in control or have done a million times, I act like I could not be seen doing it, not even by my cats. 

Over the next few postings I am (i imagine) going to come up with many resolutions for 2009. 

Above all of them, I need to focus on looking stupid in front of people. Chances are, anyone who sees me “looking stupid” will actually think that I know how to have a good time, and am not stupid or lame at all. 

Now, I just have to learn to let go and actually do it.


Night Habits…

December 26, 2008

11-26-06_2036This is what I wish I was doing right now. Leroy (also referred to as Flea) always seems to be doing what I wish I could be doing. Ok, that isn’t true. Usually Leroy is just always sleeping. Which is pretty much what I wish I was doing a lot. 

And sometimes he hangs out in the tub when I wish I could… Only, seeing as he has a slight fear of water, his tubbing time is assumedly not as relaxing as mine is.

img00176Yes, he is extremely overweight. 

Growing up I had a passion for reading cartoons about an overweight orange feline who loved lasagna, so I believe it is fitting that Flea is the way he is. 

Man-friend went home for the holiday yesterday, so Flea, Daphne, and I are holding down the fort while he is gone. At this point I am realizing that I should have gone back to D-town with him, and just come back to Chicago a couple days earlier than him for work, but alas… This is one realization that has been realized too late. I will say say that I am excited to have the house to myself for a few days. I really think that everyone could handle that once in awhile. 

Also, I have to admit that its nice not to have to tiptoe around the house when I wake up in the middle of the night. (i wake up ALOT) I actually can just get up, turn on all the lights, take a bath, or sit in bed on the computer. Not that Man-friend is a light sleeper necessarily, I just don’t want to be the jerk who keeps him from sleeping. When I think back to my days of living alone and being a serious parliament light smoker, I would be chain smoking in my tub when I couldn’t sleep. That is no longer my life… thankfully. Although I still struggle with not smoking, my replacement vice is now clearly Whoopi Goldberg and Sherry Shepard. But, I have already been over that. Unfortunately, I dream of the days of old where I imagine my glamorous life was like this-

scarletjsmoke1In reality, it was more like this…

grossashtray1But alas, I am working on realizing the truth of my old habit… 

So, since I couldn’t exactly sleep as much as wanted to, I decided to venture out this morning to my local Circle K to get the delicious Mocha Delight they sling out of those magical machines that almost seem to KNOW how big your cup is. And of course, my other vice…











On my way across the street, dressed in my most comfortable velour pajama pants (thank you MAB, for inspiring me to leave the house in velour), I not only slipped and slid on the thin layer of ice covering every inch of the street and sidewalk, but I actually fell down on my knee, then my cushy ass in front of waiting bus riders and cab drivers alike. I was hoping to get a chuckle of recognition, as to make me feel a smidge less awkward, but I got nothin’. Everybody, EVERYBODY knows that when you fall in front of a crowd, once you realize the only injury is embarrassment, you must laugh with someone. It validates that we are all human. It is an unwritten law in the Constitution, an unetched commandment on Moses’ stone. We all know this. I got nothin’. 

I just got stared at. I was almost tempted to just wave and yell out “I am ok! Now can we all laugh?”, but I didn’t. I just shuffled my way proudly across the Circle K parking lot, and purchased myself some scratch off tickets, in the hopes to a) win some dough, and b)verify that I am ok and human. Upon paying for my hot glorious beverage and tickets, I was able to laugh with the cashier about my fall and discuss the icy extravaganza that is our city right now. 

Thank you, Circle K guy, for making me feel ok. 

Now, I am off to scratch my tickets in the hopes of having an after Christmas miracle. Big money big money!! Let’s get that phone bill payed!

It’s a jungle out there today… be careful, and don’t forget to laugh. I would be laughing with you, I swear.


Too much Diet Coke

December 24, 2008

As I get into the swing of writing on this website, I have a feeling the first few weeks will be obnoxious. I know that I will probably post a trillion things a day, because I will suddenly be overwhelmed by how much I think I have to say… Most of said things, will be pointless nonsense, but at least I will feel productive as a “blogger”. 

With that in mind, last night at the diner with Man-friend and MAB I ingested mass amounts of Diet Coke. This is nothing out of the ordinary for me, except that curiously, I am realizing I am more of an old woman than I previously realized. I recently decided that I am not going to drink any pop that is not diet, then bridge my way over to giving up diet pop(oh my!) for the 100th time in my life. Once I do this I will clearly be a superior, healthier person, until of course, I fall off this wagon again. 

With my path to superior health and righteousness in my mind, I ordered a diet coke upon Amber the Waitress’ inquiry. (Yes, I spend too much time at this diner. Hey- it is right down the street from my salon. And- they have really good soup. ) Usually in the evening (wait for old lady points to rise…) I order a caffeine free beverage, so I am not up half the night. Alas, it is so rare that diners have a diet non-caffeinated option… so my true love Diet Coke was ingested. I really did not realize how much I drank or how much later it was than I thought – at least in terms of my caffeine intake bed time. 

Last night while posting I noticed that it had gone from December 23rd to 24th, and I was not dozing the way I usually am by midnight… (old ladies are cool, ok?) This was clearly a sign of the next 7 hours of my life. Around 1:30am I decided I might as well be productive… My favorite “productive” activity in the middle of the night, is to sit in the tub.


If I had my way, I would do all of my serious thinking, working, life planning, etc. in a hot whirling bath. My thoughts are the clearest and most organized while sitting on my porcelain sofa. In fact, if the possibility of a)killing laptop or b) killing self via electricity from laptop were not a fear, I would write on this website while tubbing. I assume if I was able to do that, this site would have been up long ago, and would have definitely made me rich and fabulous by now. 

Anyway, the tub did not aid in getting my slumber on, so I moved on to my deepest darkest vice. I watched a recorded morning program… I hate to admit my love for this show, but I must. Sometimes I even… (I’m hanging my head while I type) tivo it.


For some reason, I am completely addicted to this show. I don’t know if it is just that every girl needs at least one good embarrassing habit, or if I am just suddenly landing my ass in a different target audience demographic then I pictured myself. (I mean, we all think we are way cooler than we actually are, right?)

I have held this secret for a really long time, but for some reason since Whoopi and Sherry have joined the show my life has gotten progressively more fantastic. I am sorry, but those women are just so funny. I enjoy hearing all the different-ahem- views of the co-hosts, even if I disagree with everyone at times. 

Please don’t tell anyone. 

Also- for the record, Man-friend may or may not have gotten me the View’s presidential campaign mug for Christmas. mmmhm. It’s that bad. If that is not love, I don’t know what is. The mug is rad, if I do say so… but again, you now know my passion for bad things. Anyway, watching The View in the middle of the night did not even do the trick. Last night- I was just straight up awake. It was officially the pitts. 

Alas, now that I have admitted my deepest darkest secret, I am off to celebrate Christmas Eve with my fantastic mom and best friend/ sister Katie. My lack of sleep will make today EVEN BETTER when it comes to holiday irritability levels. I am STOKED. I hope today is the best Christmas Eve of your life. 

With that in mind- I leave you with the most ridiculous holiday picture I could find… (it was funny at about 5am?)




December 24, 2008

I know that Adele has been around for awhile, but I just reignited my passion for her soft soul filled voice early on this Christmas Eve morning…

How beautiful is she?

SUN0522 Adele

<a href=””>check it out!</ a>

Day 2… I guess its for real now

December 24, 2008

Officially today (when I started writing this post) is Christmas Eve Eve. When I was little, (ok, like a couple of years ago) I thought I was really clever when I said Merry Christmas Eve Eve Eve Eve… (you get the idea) weeks and weeks before Christmas. What is amazing to me is that such a small 3 letter word can inspire such feelings of intelligence and accomplishment. I really cracked the code to the meaning of that whole “eve thing”! The only problem is that on December 26 wishing someone a merry Christmas Eve x364, and actually saying the 364 eves gets a little annoying. 

I am suddenly acutely aware that my writing my thoughts on the interweb is now no longer a secret. Crap. The pressure to be entertaining is heavy, yet different than I expected it to be. The prospect of someone actually reading the words I type is really quite exciting…





Tonight I was at a diner with Man-friend and my homegirl MAB. MAB is basically the most humorous, caring, kind person I have ever encountered in my entire life. Luckily, I have had the pleasure of her acquaintance since I was 6 years old. We totally hit it off in Mrs. Holmes’s first grade class and the rest is history. 

MAB makes me laugh so hard that I actually end up in that awkward sobbing hysteria that only a true friend can invoke. This happens almost every time we are together. Not only does she have the comedic timing and phrasing of a genius, but she randomly drops personal anecdotes into conversation that really would be impossible to make up. 

Tonight at the diner, MAB randomly admitted to getting ready for work one morning last winter, and much to her dismay found herself extra cold while waiting at her bus stop. Upon looking down, MAB realized that she had gotten completely ready for work, but had failed to change out of her pajama pants. Her flowered flannel pajama pants.

Now, this really falls more into the category of a bad dream that a character on a TGIF sitcom may be having, yet somehow, MAB actually has it happen to her. The beauty of it all really is that not only can she laugh about it a year later over mini corndogs, but  she can actually explain it in a way that makes diet coke come cascading out of my nose. 

These are images I implore you to keep in mind with the holiday upon us. As far as I am concerned, everyone puts way too many eggs in their  Christmas funtimes basket. People just turn into monsters around these winter holidays. As tomorrow is Christmas Eve I beg of you… when old Aunt Bea tells you how much prettier  and thinner you looked at the last family party, when drunk Uncle Dick slips up and spills that Grandma really did bang the gardener, or when Mom loses her cool and finally tells you that she honestly does think that having you and your sibling(s) really did ruin her life- just remember … somewhere out there is a girl who honestly does forget to change out of her pajamas when heading to work, and somewhere else is a girl who when laughing uncontrollably, literally starts sobbing until diet coke comes out of an orifice. If that doesn’t make you smile a little, then at least try to remember that December 26th is Christmas Eve x364.

The awkward beginning…

December 22, 2008

So, I have been itching, pining even, to start writing. I know I have a lot to say. I swear I do. I also know that for me, this is more about getting thoughts out of my head, and if possible, to connect with people. I guess everyone has a ton to say… I just think actually typing it out will make me organize these thoughts, rather than spewing out words as I tend to in my usual, maniacal, rambling way. 

Starting off “blogging” kind of makes me feel like a tool, to be honest. The word “blog” makes me feel weird and out of date…like a hipster in 1999. The word leaves me with a slight feeling of embarrassment, to be honest. I cannot explain why, it just makes me feel almost sheepish. I need to keep this in mind, as I adjust to writing my thoughts onto the interweb. I am hoping to quickly learn to proudly state my passion for the word “blog”. 

So, a few things about who I am, what I know. I live in Chicago… Currently, I am a 26 year old woman who lives on the north side of Chicago with my man-friend and our two cats. I grew up in the city, went to university for two years, and then returned to Chicago, fully knowing that, at this point, I am where I belong. 

The past few years of my life have had a lot of ups/downs/sideways’. I worked for a large corporate bookstore for a number of years. I briefly worked for a company that did child support enforcement, as well as for a HUGE monstrosity of a store that little ladies like, as an auditor. Working for all these spots have given me fantastic stories, as well have shaped who I am. My longest employment run was at the book store, and not only has impacted who I am and the path my life has taken, but has supported my serious reading addiction. I have a passion for everything from Children’s books’ to historical fiction, psychological memoirs to health/diet/detox books. Working for the bookstore provided so much entertainment to my life. Not only is everyone who works at ye olde huge book shop smart and well read, they are also c-r-a-z-y. As in, bat-shit. I met my wildest friends, my most intelligent and talented homies, and some of the most caring people in this city. Best of all, other than the discount of course, working at said book shop led me to the love of my life. 

Man-friend and I have been together for a long time. I cannot imagine my life without his smile, his voice, his eyes. I cannot imagine what my world would be like without coming home to him sitting/laying on the couch, usually with a computer on his lap, asking me how my day at work went. Usually his day at work was crappy, as he has a “pays the bills” job while he goes to school to be a creative genius in a few years. Or at least to get PAID to be the creative genius he already is. To be honest with you, he drives me absolutely cuckoo bananas. He drives me crazy in every good way and every bad. That is the secret to a long lasting relationship I am told- make the decision if this is the person you want to allow to drive you nuts for the next 50 years. 

I really want my man-friend to drive me nuts for the next 50 years. 

This summer we are planning on making our promise to drive each other crazy official by saying a bunch of vows and eating cake with our friends and family. I am totally excited to do this- in theory. Wedding planning is the pitts. Especially if you have a tiny budget and a big family. I fear that I am officially moving up in the ranks of the “bad brides club”. I am serious. I could be President by June 6, 2009. 

Every single day I am asked how the wedding plans are going. Every single day I feel like I am disappointing the asker by not jumping up and down, getting weepy, gushing, or pulling out my martha stewart planner to show all the details. For the record, I cannot wait to be married to my man-friend. I can’t wait to make it official. I am just not good at the gushing people want me to divulge to them. The other problem is people in my industry of work get REALLY excited about weddings. Some, because they are hopeless romantics, most, because weddings make them a shit ton of dough. 

I am a hair stylist. 

I am not, for the record, the scary kind of hair stylist that works in a hair factory that makes you feel guilty for not feeling comfortable using (buying) products. I personally never even picked up a “round brush” until I had taken student loans out to learn how to use one. I love doing cool folk’s hair, I love to make people feel good about themselves. I don’t expect people to get dressed up when going to the salon. I think that is exhausting. I like to think that stylists attract client’s who are similar to themselves. I am proud to say that most of my clients are totally rad. 

Other big things to know about me… I like to sit on my couch. I love talking about digestion. It can be embarrassing for others just how often I want to discuss the colon. I recently was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome and its magnificent having a name for my tummy troubles… I love old ladies. I strive to dress like a crazy old lady. When I am feeling more motivated in the style department I opt to attempt to look like a pin-up girl from the 1950’s. So, when I am feeling lazy, I like to think that I am the pin-up grown older, hence crazy old lady. I love vintage style, but who doesn’t? That is such a generic statement I might have to delete it. All in all, I wish I was a pin-up girl. I wish I could keep up the effort each and every day to be glamorous like Dita Von Teese… But alas, I go through waves of glamour, waves of not…

I hate working out. I am intrinsically lazy when it comes to moving my body. I love candy. These statements together keep me nice and meaty/fleshy for winter. I am constantly eating crap or going on a diet. I have some of the most disordered eating habits of anyone I have ever encountered, but I am at least, able to admit it. I have tried EVERYTHING to lose weight. It is something I think about daily, so this paragraph is a warning/foreshadowing of future postings. 

So- I think my first post may just be copied and pasted in my “about me” page. Is that okay? 

Congratulations! You have just completed reading the first posting on the Delphine Scarlett blog… I feel like today is the first day of the rest of my life. Or maybe I am just talking myself up as to push through this sheepish feeling about starting a blog. 


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