Archive for January, 2009

look at this guy…

January 30, 2009 synchronicity.htm synchronicity.htm


I am really feeling sleepy as hell today, and the power to be witty and charming seems to be lacking in my brain right now. 

have a great day….


Corey Mason

January 27, 2009

My all time favorite movie is not one that would win any Academy Awards. My all time favorite movie makes me wish that every damn day was Rex Manning Day. 


 Empire Records is the one movie I could watch daily. In fact, when I was in grade school and high school I would watch it anytime I possibly could. I honestly could recite the whole script to anyone who asked. I am not kidding at all. 

Man-Friend studied film, and is very serious about his taste in cinema. My favorite movie, I assume, plagues him. He definitely shakes his head in dismay when I reference it, and never wants anything to do with watching it. 

Lately, I have been feeling like every minute of my day is scheduled, spoken for, and planned ahead. Between school, yoga, planning a wedding, doing hair, learning and practicing to knit, attempting to cook/eat at home more for financial and health purposes, doing homework, and attempting to be mildly social, I feel like I am running in circles. On Rex Manning Day, Gina (Renee Zellweger’s character) picks up Corey in her convertible, with Corey lugging some freshly baked cupcakes. When Gina inquires when Corey found time to make cupcakes, Corey responds “my dad always says there are twenty four usable hours in every day, thank you.” Gina responds with “it is official, you are a nerd.”

Well, Renee Z., you can officially call me a nerd as well. 

I wake up in the night wondering if I should post my homework on the community college website, just to make sure I don’t forget. I wake up in the night wondering if I should stay awake until the 6am yoga class so that I have more time to do things when I get home, or to make sure I don’t run out of time to go. I sit wondering how much time I have open at work to do my math homework. I have been staying awake until midnight or 1am, which for me, is OBSCENE. I need at least 8-9 hours of sleep to exist sanely, or so I thought.

“Empire Records- open ’till midnight!” 2007/02/empire-r... 2007/02/empire-r...



I am finding that I am preparing in my brain everything from the time I eat (you can’t eat 2 hours before bikram- so you don’t vom), to how I can write, knit, and watch my stories (as any proper old lady would say), all at the same time. Luckily, my “stories” are not your standard soap operas. My stories are 30 Rock, the funniest show on tv, The Office, Scrubs, LA Ink, Dogtown, and of course The View. I am trying to scale back on the story watching, and so far I have done pretty well. I am prioritizing the stories. 

So, in the name of Corey Mason, I keep reminding myself that there are twenty four usable hours in every day. I promise not to become addicted to diet pills like her, pinky swear. Now if only I could damn the man and save the empire, having all this chaos end in a big huge party.



Oh wait, is the wedding my “Sugar High” finale scene?! Here’s hoping there are dudes selling vinyl and Alice in Chains outwork outside the party…

Round 2

January 23, 2009

I went to Bikram yoga again yesterday! I did it! I followed through on going again, and I am rather proud of myself to be honest. I enjoyed it quite a bit, and am really hoping this is going to be my new addiction. I don’t know if I am addicted to the actual yoga, or if its just the sweating. I would assume it is the latter. I only had a slight headache after, if you could even call it that, it was more an annoying tension, but didn’t last very long at all. I am pumped. I signed up for the new student $20 for an unlimited week. I will then find other places to try for low prices. After that I will see how much I can afford. I have to say that I am proud of myself. I also am already wishing I could go everyday. 

Although this position definitely makes me rather dizzy… index.php?m... index.php?m...

And, clearly I cannot go back that far. 

In other news, I started school on Wednesday! What?! School?! Yes, its true. I am back to school and feeling very much like Rodney Dangerfield.


I am currently taking Algebra and Intro to Humanities. My math class is basically a lot of students who seem to have just finished high school, or are retaking the class after failing it last semester. Most of the students seem to hate everything about being at school, and are not very nice to our teacher thus far. We have had one class. People are already YELLING at the instructor. I have a feeling this is going to be a long semester. My humanities class is totally different. Most of the students seem pretty highly educated, particularly the many who are not originally from the United States. it is amazing. There are people in class from Pakistan, Thailand, Vietnam, Saudi Arabia, Russia, Germany, and Africa. A lot of the students said that in their home countries they completed college courses but many did not have credit at US universities. How bogus is that? I will say that I am pleased to have so many different people in the class, who obviously I will learn from. 

For the record, textbooks still are insanely expensive. Painfully pricey, I would say. 

I am learning to knit, and thus far cannot say it is for me. I want to be good at it, crafty, and make cool scarves for my friends and loved ones. So far it stresses me out that I am not yet successful, and that my knits just keep getting tighter and tighter. There may be moments where I want to throw my needles and yarn across the room. Maybe. Online guides? Not as helpful as one would hope, for the record.



I swear I will be crafty someday, damnit. 

So far I have tried more new things in 2009 than I have in the past few years combined. I now have to just keep this up…

I almost forgot!

January 19, 2009

Happy MLK Day, ya’ll!

Also, enjoy inauguration day! There is nothing more motivating than a community filled with hope for the future. arts-entertainment/book... arts-entertainment/book...

It’s been awhile

January 19, 2009

So, this is the longest I have gone without writing since I started this site, and I can see that if I do not stay consistent, this site will end up being another half-assed creative project that I forget I started. I am really good at coming up with things so I feel crafty and creative, start them, then forget completely about it all the while leaving paper shreds, glue, scissors, paint, or canvas strewn about in the same way a tornado leaves its surviving remnants. xware/msg/apod/2005-06-13 xware/msg/apod/2005-06-13


Today I decided to officially stop pussy-footing around. I have been saying over and over that I want to do something, want to move my body more, swear up and down that I want to get heathy, try yoga, take a dance class. One of my super rad clients just told me about her Bikram yoga class, and how fantastic it is. This client is spectacular, so I thought I would look into it. I told her I would “mull it over”, as I am realizing that the minute I say I am going to do something, I absolutely do not. So today, after much research, stressing if I should go by myself or try to rally some homies with me, and way too much assessment of what to wear, took part in my first Bikram yoga class. xware/msg/apod/2005-06-13 xware/msg/apod/2005-06-13


I not only took part in my first class, I successfully completed my first class. I did it. I did not puke halfway through the class like I expected, nor did all the smoking hot flexible girls mock me for my lack of ab muscles and chubby …everything. There were people there who were old, young, new, pros, and I actually felt like I did half decent. My class today was 90 minutes long in a room that is set to about 105 degrees. 

Officially, I think the term is “hot as balls”.

To say that everyone in the room was sweating is basically ridiculous. Everyone in the room looked like they had taken a bath in tubs of sweat. We were all completely and totally soaked. The towels on top of the yoga mats looked like they had just been pulled out of a washer. I had my stretchy pants cuffed, and when I uncuffed them the rest of the pant was a totally different color than that which was cuffed, as it was so incredibly drenched. I can thankfully say that I was in the right mind when leaving the house to bring extra clothes- including skivvies, THANK GOD. I do not actually know that I have ever had my whole body release fluid like that. ../search/sweating ../search/sweating


I wish I could tell you that I loved every minute of it. And, to be fair, I did actually enjoy most of the 90 minutes. Towards the end, I started getting that “she has to be finishing soon…” feeling. It was not that I did not enjoy the class, it was more the aftermath. I followed directions and drank tons and tons of water to rehydrate. Unfortunately, I do not think it was the hydration factor that got me. I think it was the “oh wait- I don’t work out ever” factor. I tried to meet one of my favorite women on this Earth for a little ladies who lunch fun. She was kind enough not to judge my sweaty nastiness. (I was at least in new clothes) We caught up on girl talk (which was much needed- thanks B) and had a healthy lunch. Towards the end, I started feeling beyond woozy. I drank water. Tons of water. news/daily-dos-aguas news/daily-dos-aguas


Yet I had a splitting headache and felt somewhere between endorphin filled bliss and death. Having to cut my girl time short (I could still be sitting there chatting now) really pisses me off. 

I realize that all of these poses we do in Bikram yoga (there are 26- I am learning!) are meant to strengthen muscles, exercise my heart, and detoxify my body. So there is the culprit, my friends. Don’t get me wrong, I am a sucker for the detoxing. I will purchase, research, even try anything that will claim to detoxify my body. In my mind,the definition of “detoxify” is sometimes confused with the definition of “making me look skinny and gorgeous- a la Kate Moss”. 



I always forget that cleaning our bodies of the bad things that have been built up inside of us is not always pleasant. I can honestly say that I find sometimes uncomfortable cleansings really fulfilling. Fasting? Sure, why not? Colonics? Where do I sign up? Yet, this today was sort of the pits. As we were doing poses that were to assist in digestion (A+ in my book) and poses to cleanse our organs, I never thought that my body would actually feel like something crazy was happening. 

Which makes me all the more happy with my yoga experience. While I do not want to feel like shit every time I partake, there is something to be said for this. I was definitely not dehydrated, as my urine was clearer than water from a faucet. My body was reacting to getting rid of things, I assume, bad things. I feel like if they felt good going in, there is a solid chance they will feel bad coming out. 

I do not want to keep feeling like crap every time I try to do something new. Which is exactly the motivation I need to keep this craziness up. I just may go again to this Bikram whatnot. 

I cannot say that I definitely am, as I really don’t want to jinx myself. 

The real test will be tomorrow morning. I have not yet woken up after a class. All bets could be off. But I hope not.



January 14, 2009


Turns out, when producers from any TV show want to talk to you, you have to sign your life away, even if you are never on TV. So, in lieu of that, if you look back at recent posts regarding reality TV, there is a solid chance that they are random and do not make sense. Last night when I got home from work, for my own legal safety I had to edit some posts. Turns out, if I say anything on here, I could pay a whole lot of money. RAD. 

So-  I never mentioned anything regarding anything on TV. Ok, that is not true, just stick with remembering my desire that I DO NOT want to be on TV. EVER.


For some reason, I have not been able to get rid of my cough/sore throat. I have sounded froggy/muppetty for about ten days now. The most entertaining part of this, I guess, is that I have to talk all day long. Co-workers and clients alike have just straight up been laughing at me. I at least can say that while I reek of menthol cough drops, the people around me are smiling. 

Days like today, I wish I worked at a University, or was in school as my career. I recently had the realization that snow days are really not a part of my life anymore. Supposedly, my city is to be under a barrage of fluffy white flakes, and I won’t even get to have a day off for it. 

I also am wishing I had snow pants. I feel the need to sled/make angels/make snowmen is on its way.

Tuesday morning

January 13, 2009

I have recently realized just how much happiness my friend MAB has brought into my life. How, you ask, have I just realized this?

I want to write about her on here all the time. 

MAB makes me laugh, smile, and just feel so damn good that every time I see her I think- “I should write about this to make other people laugh, smile, and just feel so  damn good.” Whether it is talking about wearing pajama pants at the bus stop, random encounters with people from our shared past, or hearing about the extravaganza it always is when she hangs with her fantastic family. 

Last night MAB randomly referenced how she loves those ridiculous pictures of babies draped in costumes and flowers. She then went into her Mom’s feelings about said photos. Basically, MAB received a greeting card with one of these shots on the cover (I think the baby was dressed as a bird)… MAB Sr. wrote something on the inside along the lines of  ” I hope no one ever drugs you and dresses you up like a crow”.

She is convinced that those babies are drugged so that they can get them to smile. 

Once again, diet coke almost came splashing onto the table from my olfactory system. 

MAB- you make my life so wonderful. Thank you for giving me things to write about, and reasons to just feel so damn good. You make my life fantastic. I will never let anyone drug you and dress you up as a crow.





who knew?

January 11, 2009


Did you know that when you actually start doing things that have been hanging over your head and stressing you out you actually start feeling better about them?

As I mentioned previously, this month is a little bit slow at work, so I have taken it upon myself to actually plan my wedding while at work. I find that being as productive as possible while I am not making any money is the only way to end my shift without  being exhausted. The more I get done at work, the more I recall how to breathe when people ask me “how is the wedding planning?”. 



So, in a matter of an hour or two, I found a caterer, set up a tasting, found a DJ, contacted them, spoke with my reception site coordinator, spoke with the DJ, researched the religious counseling whatnot that Man-Friend and I have to partake in, scheduled it, worked on the guest list, worked on the registry, and answered all of my co-workers wedding questions. As I got farther along in my wedding checklist, I found the weight hanging on my shoulders getting lighter and lighter…

I have to say that getting this planning nonsense out of the way? Totally makes me excited about my wedding. YES. I also have started researching honeymoon options, which is pretty wild. Man-Friend cannot handle sitting on a beach drinking umbrella-ed wonders every single day, so we care trying to find a place that not only has sunny, beachy relaxation, but also has adventure. 

Today we went to a large store to register that well…. has everything. Man-Friend and I got the scanner gun and went to it. Strange though, when you have no storage space left in your home, it is not so exciting because you spend half the time shooting things wondering “will this fit in our house?”. Thankfully, we were smart enough to register for a tent, so if everything does not fit in our house, perhaps we can let some pots go camping?




Okay, so something at my new place of employment has come up that is taking the cake. What cake, you ask? The cake that represents the “you have got to be fucking kidding me” in my life. 


Due to people telling me not to say anything that will get me in trouble on this blog… all i can say is:

I do not think reality television is where I belong. 2008_02_01_ar... 2008_02_01_ar...


I think this is where I belong.


Also, Man-Friend and I made a no reality television clause in our relationship a long time ago. When more and more shows were focusing on the hair industry the subject came up, and we promised each other that we would never be on reality tv. As this rumor starts to get closer to ringing true, my nerves are getting edgier. Man-Friend and I have accepted that I may have to be involved, especially so I don’t miss out on a cool class, or some sort of monetary reward. I figure, since I am new, I can be super boring and just act like I have no idea what the producers are talking about when they ask about issues with our place. 

Something funny is happening to my co-workers, in lieu of this possible television opportunity. Many of my co-workers have made the executive decision to just stop eating. Others, have taken it upon themselves to purchase as many laxatives as possible, including the newest diet pill that makes one’s ass leak. (according to anonymous sources)

Now, why… WHY would anyone want to eat things that make you shit your pants,in general, let alone if you are possibly going to be on reality tv? Don’t you think that would be the one time that you REALLY don’t want to poop your drawers? As far as I am concerned, issues arise at every place of employment. I would say the biggest issue, especially in terms of customer service, is if stylists were walking around with dirty skivvies. 236059/amy-winehouse... 236059/amy-winehouse...


Stupid January…

January 9, 2009

In the hair industry January is basically the longest, saddest, slowest month of the year. Everyone gets their hairs did for the holidays or new year celebrations, so the days tend to be slower than those of December.  Many salons opt to take this week off, to have a set vacation week from January 1-8th, it is truly that slow. 

 This week I have seen stylists knit hats, read the whole popular vampire book series, and smoke mass quantities of Marlboro Lights.  I have been somewhat busy, thankfully, although I did take yesterday off to watch a two and a half hour dance party. Today my down time was spent thinking of all the other careers I would like to have in my life. Talking to all of my clients has made me realize just how many random crazy careers are out there. Kids always say- “I want to be an astronaut” or “I want to be a fireman”. Why don’t kids say “I want to be a medical supplies slinger” or “Someday maybe I can fulfill my dream of running the human resources department of a construction company”. 

Any way, I am coming up with a list of my top careers. Classes start in a few weeks, so I have to start assessing my next move so that I can do hair part time. The down time kills me, and I don’t even have all that much. Also, the safety of receiving a set salary every two weeks is a true blessing that one will never understand until they are no longer receiving it. January is when every hair stylist you know comes off the holiday high. Its rough…

They have no idea they look like they are friends… 



Nobody puts Baby in the corner

January 7, 2009


Today I went to theatrical production of a hit cult classic dance movie. It was… something. I always end up places where it is easier to say that I end up doing crazy random shit with my family, than to explain in full detail why I was where I was. All in all, this performance just made me wish that I was a dancer, not for the sense of rhythm, but more for the flexibility, long legs, and rockin’ muscles. It was great to see some of the folks that were there, and was lovely having Hump Day off from work. Ok, to be honest Thursday is my official Hump Day, but I digress. 

So, I thought I would be able to write something humorous and witty today, seeing as I watched grown adults prance around for 2.5 hours this afternoon. I am sure clever anecdotes will follow, but right now my mind is elsewhere…

Yesterday, one of my closest friends from my early high school years had a family tragedy. I cannot stop thinking about her, her family, and her brother. My friend, we will call her T, is one of those people that just lights up a room. When I was a freshman and sophomore in high school I went to a crazy all girls catholic school, and she was one of my diamonds in the rough. Yesterday morning, T’s older brother commit suicide. 

Suicide is one of those topics that people have strong opinions about, and rightfully so. With that in mind, I know that I am extremely stubborn about my feelings towards the act, and it may be in my best interest to keep it to myself. Here is what I cannot get off my mind— I am realizing that there is truly nothing that one can say to the family of the person who commit the act that would bring any consolation to their emotions. This is basically the most vulnerable emotional state a human could find themselves in, and there in nothing a person could say that would salvage any joy left in them. 

I sent my old friend T a message tonight, and I wrote and rewrote it. I wanted to tell her that her brother had succeeded in his goal, and that he was at peace knowing that his own struggle had reached its end. I wanted to tell her that it had nothing to do with anything she had control over, and nothing to do with her or her family.  I think the hardest thing to understand when dealing with someone who wants to end their life is that by the time one reaches that resolution, family and friends are no longer even a part of the person’s thought process. 

I struggle to come up with an explanation for this phenomena. I am sure there is one in the DSM IV (the psychological book of everything), but to put it into words is almost impossible. When a person reaches a point where completely destroying their own existence is the only resolution to what is going on in their head, that usually (not always, but a lot of the time) means that the part of their brain that even remembers they have family and friends has already turned against them.

I know that T’s brother is with the family. He is watching the pain, sadness, and resentment that they are dealing with. I only hope that they can feel his spirit with them, because it truly is one of the only things that will get them through the next few weeks. He will be there for them, just as they were for him.

Sometimes, although I accept that people disagree with this, some people just know that they must wave the white flag and surrender. When mood disorders step into place it almost seems like a war has been declared on one’s thoughts. Sometimes rationality jumps out the window, and immediate gratification steps in to the utmost extreme. I wish that I could explain this to T, but at this point, the only thing she should be focusing on is her grief. 

I didn’t honestly know what writing about this would do, or what exactly I would say. To be honest, I have just been typing mindlessly and am going to have to go back and read this in the hopes that it makes sense. I guess my thoughts on this subject bring out a lot of raw emotion, perhaps too raw for me to express to another, even in writing. 

So, with that I think I’ll end this post. Its a little too debbie downer for me. In reality I should have been writing about my afternoon… asking questions like- “In theater, when characters are supposedly doing it under a blanket, how much clothing are they actually wearing?”.

Today is a really good day to tell the most important people in your life that you love them.

Go do that right now, okay? That is something that you will never regret.


To all of you out there who have been there when I needed you- you know who you are… Thanks. 


a sad sign…

January 5, 2009 2006/06/ 2006/06/


Sometimes I feel like signs are sent to me from a higher something or other. Sometimes I feel like somewhere out there, someone/something is just laughing at me, and thoroughly enjoys messing with my brain. A few hours ago I vented about my passion for puppies, only to be reminded just moments after posting that the felines had a vet appointment followup. 

Flea has cat herpes (insert joke here), which is an extremely common disease among cats that were once hobos. Upon Daphne’s arrival, Flea’s herpes symptoms flared up, which means his eyes got really gross, red, and gooey. It is pretty normal for the stress of another creature to agitate the disease… Anyway- a couple weeks ago we had to bring the cats in to see the vet, get some shots, and get some drugs for Flea’s eyes. This appointment cost a solid $240. I assumed that the follow-up booster shots had already been paid for. 

How quickly I forget the first life lesson that one learns in the police academy. (thanks for sharing that one, Mom) Never assume. (blah blah making an ass out of u and me- we got it…cops are so clever). 

Today’s appointment cost $220. AND, verified Man-Friend’s case that we cannot afford a dog. Specifically the dog on that website that I am obsessed with. The dog that I may or may not have been emailing about with the poster of the ad. Whoops. The dog that is almost too good to be true. 

The dog that I can just see playing with Flea and Daphne. 

The dog that according to everyone else in the world, we do not have time or money for. 

I fear that the appointment today, or rather the bill at the end, was a sign from above that maybe I should stop with the dog talk. 


I guess I am going to try. That is the best I can promise right now. It still hurts my heart so much that I have been communicating with this family, and I know that I could adopt this pup. I have to pull it together. I have to take my sign. (or my bill)

I wish I was not obsessed with “signs”. I don’t know that I would say that I am necessarily a religious person, I fall in the middle somewhere I guess. I have faith in some things. I just have an obsessions with signs. For example, I am completely and totally obsessed with the story of the Lady of Guadalupe. In general, I also have a bizarre obsession with Virgin Mary  and related paraphernalia. These symbols represent to me, not so much saintly whatnot, but more the wonder that is some of the first strong female symbols in culture. The story of the roses with Our Lady of Guadalupe leaves me so filled with awe and inspiration. The following that this kind of symbolism creates, especially in cultures where women are not always considered equals, just blows my mind. These historical figures have gone  above and beyond societal norms and expectations, as well as have the people who admire them. It is amazing to me that we do not hear more feminist banter regarding the Virgin Mary as one of the first pioneers for women…

But I was talking about how I want a dog, wasn’t I? 

Was this doctor bill a sign? I don’t know. One thing that was decided at todays appointment was that Flea needs to go on a metabolism jumpstart diet. Can I be put on one of those, please? Sometimes I think I would be better off if someone opened a can and gave me my nourishment for the day so that I could not get crazy with the cheesewhiz. Hell, I wish I was enthralled with a laser pointer so much that one could even trick me into working out. I curse the freedom I have to treat my body badly. 

For the record, we were informed that Flea should be getting 266 calories per day. If I was given canned mishmosh of the exact caloric quantity that I need to lose lbs, I think I would be a lot better off. Would I not be so much more pleasant to be around if I had a  food bowl and a feeding time? 

Also, what does it say about me that my cat is severely overweight? WaaWaaaaaah. 

It says I have got to get my shit together.

I have a serious problem.

January 5, 2009

I am admitting a serious issue I deal with Slowly but surely, my issue is taking up more time of my day, taking up more space in my brain, making my heart hurt a little bit. 

The problem is… I know my problem should not be resolved for at least another 6 months. I just don’t know if I can handle it. I seriously think I might burst. 

I am addicted to looking for a dog. I want a canine added to my life so bad that I obsess about it ALL DAY LONG. I actually, I kid you not, dream about getting a dog. In fact, I cannot believe I am going to admit this… I have had dreams of actually stealing my neighbors adorable little furball. I honestly have become a dognapper in my dreams. A DOGNAPPER.



Not only do I look at every single adoption website that exists (almost daily), I read training books, watch every dog themed show on TV, and talk with anyone who will listen about dogs in general. I have a lot of people in my life who have canine friends.I clearly understand that it is a full-time commitment. Majority of the people that I work with live with pups of some sort… Somehow I have become a resource for many co-workers and friends when running into troubles with pets of their own at home. Yes, people ask me training advice for their dogs, yet I DON’T HAVE A DOG.

I feel like a sham. I love dogs, yet I do not share my home with one. Granted, I have two gorgeous cats whom I love so much. My cats are hysterically funny, loving, and adorable. Yet, somehow I just do not feel fulfilled. Spike---Tina.htm Spike---Tina.htm

Why, you ask, don’t I just stop complaining, and adopt a freaking dog??? I love dogs, actually want to train a pup, am allowed to have one in my home, have a dog-run outside my apartment, and have a schedule where there would only be 4-5 hours that neither myself nor Man-Friend would be home. Pretty basic, right? Well, I have a voice of reason in my life (i.e. m-f) who reminds me that I am planning a wedding, starting school, and live in a one bedroom place. M-F also reminds me that we have two felines who want our love. All of these things I understand and agree with. I still obsess over it. After the wedding, I say… that will be time. But will it even make my obsession go away? Boston_Terrier Boston_Terrier


I do not want to be the bitter girl who watches every  person with a dog walking down the street with sadness or resentment. I want to make friends with others who have dogs, and have play dates. I want to have a sidekick who can go with me everywhere, if I so choose. I want to go on walks every single day with a purpose. Even if that purpose is cleaning up my new best friend’s feces. I truly believe that having a dog will make me happier (who doesn’t love kisses?) and healthier (I would actually be forced to move my body every day for the health of my new family member). 

With all of this in mind, I keep hearing from my friends and family- “you don’t have time, you don’t need the added stress with the wedding”… I think this is making me even more bitter… I totally realize that I am being unreasonable, as well as acting like a spoiled brat. Why do I feel like I need one so badly? I really don’t know… Is it because I grew up with a dog (Becky) who was fantastic? 


Becky on my Dad's wife's lap...

Becky on my Dad's wife's lap...

Becky lived until she was 17, and made me feel like no matter what, throughout my whole childhood, things would be ok. I would get upset over things and go sit on our back stairs, blow bubbles, and she would jump through the air biting down to burst them. I always believed that when I blew bubbles, I was blowing my anxiety and sadness out into the bubbles. Then, of course, Becky would destroy those bubbles with her teeth so that those feelings could never return. 2006/02/bubbles.html 2006/02/bubbles.html

Ahhh… I don’t know. I guess I am hoping that by getting all of this off my chest it will make the feelings of resentment for not having a dog go away. I know it won’t, but I can try. I saw an ad on one of the websites for a dog that might  just fit what I want  in a pup 100%. There is no reason for me to not apply for this perfect little guy, except for the guilt that I would be going against what other people tell me I should do. I will always wonder if this little boy online is meant for me.   
 somecanuckchick/2945175608 somecanuckchick/2945175608

Date Night

January 4, 2009

Tonight I was out to dinner with Man-friend, and three of our homies. We went to one of the greatest chain restaurants on Earth, where the breadsticks are abundant, and the soups and salad are created to the likes of Kings. While anxiously waiting for our vibrating disc to announce that our time had come,  I took an opportunity to look around at the crowd around me. That is the beauty of the chain restaurant… it attracts all walks of life.

One woman in the restaurant foyer who was also awaiting the disc’s buzz caught my attention. I would guess she was around 35 years old, give or take ten years. She had a 2-3 year old child with her, and what appeared to be a newborn. She was at the restaurant with an obese man, appearing to be her partner. Both of them wore sweatpants and a gaze that could only be described as detached. Seeing a youngish couple with children, assumedly sleep-deprived and resentful towards their life path is not uncommon, yet something about the woman sticks in my head.

What stands out about the lady is not her sad eyes, her tired face, or her old gym shoes hidden under baggy sweats. What stood out to me was the small effort that I know she was truly making tonight for her dinner date with her man and her children. She wanted to look particularly gussied up for one reason or another, and to do so she added an accessory  to her look. 

There is something about the place, the woman, the man, the clothes, children, outfit, that just makes me so sad. I remember getting this accessory when I was young, thinking that it was the coolest thing EVER. I remember everyone that I knew had different variations of this, just as much as I remember when this fad passed, just like its friends slap bracelets and hyper-color t-shirts. I don’t know if it made me sad because I was hungry and wanted to ingest large amounts of carbohydrates, or if I just realized that no one would ever know that this lovely mother of, I assume, two put on an extra adornment to make her night special. 

This woman made me want to weep. Not because of what she wore or who her family was, but because the lost look in her eye and exhausted face was attached to a lilac, powder blue, and white one of these: store/index.php?main_page=... store/index.php?main_page=...


One of these, dear friends, is all it takes to make a regular old Saturday night into something special. Perhaps an anniversary celebration? A birthday? I can only hope that something spectacular happens to her tonight. That someone tells her how important she is and how much they love her and can’t live without her. Most of all, I hope she put that damn shoelace clip in her hair, and felt gorgeous.


Hey kids! Its A whole new year!

January 1, 2009






Welcome to 2009! 

I hope the festivities that brought last year to a close for you were wild, crazy, and safe. My New Year’s Eve was pretty great, with a lovely day at work followed by a delicious dinner  at my friends’ new home, then off to a raucous party. My days of staying out all night have definitely been few and far between as each year passes, but I am proud to say I got home around 3am… 

Work was an interesting day of “haircuts” that ended with more than 75% of the clients requested an updo for their night out… While updos are an awesome money maker… they scare the hell out of me. I think of all the stereotypes… the crazy brides, the prom queens. Remember that horrendous style in the mid to late 90’s that were the white girls answer to corn rows? The tight twists covered the top half of a girl’s head, then exploding into an extravaganza of curls or more twists. Ouch- who thought that was ok? I have one dance photo from 1998-1999 where I rock it… I will admit it. it was SO BAD. I am ashamed. 

On the one hand– some beautiful famous women led the world to believe that white folks with corn rows are ok….


On the other hand, other celebrities have taken it upon themselves to remind us why it is NOT…


Sometimes a reminder is all we need. Thanks, buddy. 

Yesterday I did some “styles” that I was actually proud of. I cannot refer to them as updos, for fear that saying it out loud makes it real. I wish I would remember to take pictures of my finished hair so I could remember that I am not all thumbs. 


So today I watched some hockey, took a nap, read, etc. It has been a nice day of relaxing and reflecting on the year to come. For the latter part of the day, Man-Friend and I have been watching old cartoons from 1940. Due to Man-Friend’s passion and talent with animation, this is a pretty standard activity for us. The best part of these old cartoons is just how jaw-droppingly offensive they are. It is so wild. Get your hands on some old toons ASAP. You can thank me later. 

Thus far, I have two contenders for my favorites, those that go above and beyond in the world of- “WHAT?! Did they really just say/do/get away with that?” One is a big name character who has an adorable speech impediment dreaming of himself as a Nazi. Mmmmhmm. Yep, that is right. The propaganda of this cartoon was, in a word, unstoppable.

The other favorite is a more old timey character who pecks at things and drives people nuts just for kicks. His cartoon, which we watched today, referenced many things- his craziness, his need to go to a psychiatrist, that opium is “a dope”, that when discussing women, blondes are all that matter really, and of course, the usual stereotype of cartoon asians that those old cartoon animators loved. 



Other than sleeping, snacking, and cartooning, my day has consisted of looking for pictures of one of my other obsessions. This actually should be added to my list of things to do this year…. My Grandmother is/was one of my greatest heroes, friends, role models. She was just f-ing rad. She passed away a couple years ago, but I think about her every day. All growing up, I spent a lot of time with my Grandma, and we always played with her nesting dolls…



I am overwhelmingly obsessed with these. I hope to get a tattoo of a set of pretty traditional nesting dolls along my inner upper arm at some point. There are some crazy sets out there! 

My personal favorite is below, although it will not be the tattoo. 2004/06/russian_kiss_ne.html 2004/06/russian_kiss_ne.html

I will leave you with that… I will keep looking for good ones, so if any of them are a must-see, I will post them.

I think I might be on the brink of something new to collect…

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