Archive for February, 2009


February 26, 2009

Is this biting off more than I can chew? ../Chet%20Baker.html ../Chet%20Baker.html

Things have been changing at an alarming speed. I keep promising that I am going to return to this site and write more and more and as a result keep failing and failing. I need to start putting actual time in my calendar to do this and hope to God that I have something interesting to say when that time comes.

Do you think that planning a wedding that is about 3 months away (still need a caterer, thanks!), starting back in college, adjusting to my first  baseball season at my new salon, and the stress of a reality television…ahem- opportunity- hanging over my head is too much to take on?

Clearly I do not. 

Why? Because I am cuckoo bananas.


What would you suggest I do, if this is not enough to keep me busy? Would you suggest getting another full time job? In a totally different industry? our-services/ our-services/




Back in the end of August, early September, I was looking to make a change at the old salon I was working at. I stumbled upon a job listing that sounded like the perfect job for me. It was almost too good to be true, at least some of the job skills and requirements fit perfectly to me, as well as sounded like a place that would make me feel completely and totally fulfilled. 

I applied for said opportunity and was in contact with the supervisor doing the hiring. I really felt like I had a chance at this, even though my most recent experiences all were in the beauty industry. After a ton of back and forth emailing, I was informed that the organization was freezing hiring, and that they hoped to continue this search after some restructuring. wa waaaaah…. I assumed this would be the last I heard of it. 

So, after switching salons, settling in, watching my clients settle in, I can honestly say that things are going great. I have a ton of people who were more than willing to follow me, my co-workers are all rad, and have thus far been able to handle work, school, and wedding nonsense. (ok- somewhat handle)

Cut to three weeks ago… clients/VisceralTheatre/new clients/VisceralTheatre/new

Three weeks ago I open my email to find a message from the supervisor I had been communicating with in August/September. The position has been re-opened, and she was contacting me to see if I would still talk with them about it. 

This could not have come at a more terrible time, but I cannot let an opportunity pass me by. I know that I do not want to do hair full time for my lifelong career, but I also know that I do want to do it part time, at least for a few years. (Definitely until this damn beauty school student loan is paid off). Here is the thing with doing hair for me-I do not have a passion for hair the way others do. I do not poop my pants when I see some new product or fancy blow dryer. I mean, I can appreciate these things, or at least, have learned to over time. I do not dream of having a 3 month waiting list for people to come see me. I truly just think it is relaxing (at most times), a creative and social outlet, and fun. I like working with people who are low maintenance like I am, who really do not care much about looking too glamorous, but more how to look beautiful without putting in too much effort. I do not want to be seriously closing in on retirement, standing behind a salon chair five days a week. 

I am just really lucky. I have a really fantastic group of people who I enjoy hanging out with, who also happen to enjoy how I color or cut their hair. 

I have always known that being a hair stylist is not a lifelong career for me, but more something I really like that I can do on the side of other jobs. 

Which is exactly where I am finding myself these days… 

After lots of hours of interviewing, I have been hired (!) to work for a non-profit organization that is amazing and something that I truly believe in. I know this position could present the opportunity to really feel fulfilled by my work. I will be helping to educate and guide support systems for people living with and families of people living with mental illness. 

My life is just a step or two away from getting out of control. 

I will be going to school and working full time Monday through Friday, while doing hair on Saturdays and Sundays. I also am planning to be in the salon a night or two during the week for clients who I know well who cannot get in when they would like, who have scheduled with me directly. 

Luckily, I have found this poster that will keep me from getting stressed out. birthday+posters?cg=1030564233... birthday+posters?cg=1030564233...

I am super excited… but also feel like I cannot allow myself to let the walls close in on me. I am totally pumped to have week nights available for the first time in YEARS to meet up with friends for a dinner, or cook with Man-Friend and relax and watch TV. I feel like the consistent paycheck, the tuition support, and the whole insurance thing does not hurt either. I am so excited to make this change, but so afraid as well. 

The best part of all of this is that my current boss, who I was so afraid to talk to about lowering my hours, was TOTALLY cool with the new changes. He was so supportive, and loved that this is going to make me happy, and fulfill me. My clients, the ones who I have talked to so far (the ones who have had appointments), have all been more than supportive. It is amazing actually. I do not think I could be any luckier. I have clients who so far have expressed that they just want to see me happy, and that if I can still find time to do their hair, that would be lovely. 

So here is the questions… How many weeks do we think it will take for me to completely lose my cool?

Do we want to start making bets?


It is going to be a very interesting couple of months…



Sunday Sunday Sunday

February 22, 2009


I love Sundays. Today is not a real Sunday to me though, as I am heading into work. I have so many things that need to be written about, yet not enough time. I feel like I barely have enough time to go to the f-ing bathroom lately. catproofingintro.html catproofingintro.html

Luckily today I am very booked with clients I really like… especially J-

alberto_vargas_022-11J pretty much looks like this. I am glad that at least working on my day off is more like hanging out and catching up with my homegirls.

I am working today because Friday I had to travel to MI for a few hours to go to a memorial service, and yesterday I was off work due to spending the day at the religious counseling that the Catholic Church forces couples to do before allowing them to get married in the church. To be honest, I assumed the counseling day would be the longest most absurd day of my life, but it really was relatively painless, and actually rather productive for Man-Friend and I. 

We were placed in the “special” group, due to our living in sin. AWESOME. This resulted in us at least not having to hear too much about the rhythm method of how to have babies. rad. This group was couples who lived in sin, were 30 years old or above, had been married previously, had children already, or, I assume, were just terrible people in general. blogs/travel_blog/2007/0... blogs/travel_blog/2007/0...

So, as I have many many many things that are changing and adjusting in my life right now, there is much to post. Alas, I have a client in less than an hour, and need to scurry my way to work. There is more to come, hopefully tonight…

Until then- Enjoy your Sunday Funday.

One awkward event down…

February 16, 2009 unions/forums/show_msg... unions/forums/show_msg...



Thank you thank you thank you thank you. It was fantastic. 

I lived through it, my friends who were there were so wonderful and amazing. I realized just how lucky I really am to have so many great friends.

Where you come from

February 13, 2009


I can’t stop talking/writing/thinking/stressing about my wedding party, not who I want to stand up, but how many people are appropriate versus a lot, a lot versus f-ing ridiculous. MaryArcadipane.htm MaryArcadipane.htm

(By the way, why do old timey weddings look SO MUCH cooler than any now?)

One of my favorite clients,MEM, was asking me the other day about all of the things that I still have not gotten checked off my list for the wedding. (Caterer? Yea, we are still working on that one….) Now let me preface this also by saying that MEM and I have a lot in common. She works somewhere that I volunteered at while growing up, and we are from neighborhoods on the south side that were close to each other. 


https:/.../display/ chicago68/Alexis+Williams

https:/.../display/ chicago68/Alexis+Williams

I told MEM about how I was struggling with the idea of 8 (yes- count ’em, EIGHT) girls standing up, not including the flower girl (who is almost 27 years old)… She so kindly reacted exactly how I needed and really, want everyone to respond. “Do people not know where you come from?” Huh?, was basically my response to that… I mentioned that Man-Friend is telling people that we haven’t asked the mailman yet, and as she laughed at that she said “Doesn’t that boy know you are a south side girl?” 

Um. Hell yes I am.

On the south side, eight is average, if not below average. MEM then went on to tell me that she was recently in a wedding where there were 14 bridesmaids and groomsmen, including one of her cousins, that she didn’t even know was a cousin, as the best man. Now that is the south side. 

So, as the wedding shower is about 48 hours away, I am realizing that this is happening, for real. 

I just finished asking my final bridesmaid (thanks FQ, you are rad), while she was getting ready for work at her fancy schmancy club of a gym. I was hoping to ask in person, but alas, our schedules have not allowed us to see each other for quite some time. 

While talking to her, she starting quietly mumbling something… As I asked her to repeat her mumbles, she said, I will tell you later or email you. hmmm… weird. So she calls back to tell me that not only is she excited to stand up (awesome) but that as I was asking her, a well known, controversial, african american reverend who is a staple of our dear city’s political extravaganzas was shooting her dirty looks for being on her cell phone. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G

Then it hit me… If she sees him again, I have given her strict instructions to formally request that he marry Man-Friend and I. 

I truly know that if this reverend was to be the one doing the ceremony, not a single soul in that church would notice what a ridiculously large wedding party we have.


Acceptance- Step One

February 8, 2009

Accepting that I am getting totally burnt out and am starting to lose myself a little bit is the first step to things getting better, right? 

I realized when talking to MB last night on our walk home from work, that I am reaching a point that I never wanted to be at. I am at the point that with all the stress, all the arguments about stupid wedding nonsense, all the busy work days, all the class and homework, all the wedding research, I have the ability, or threat, depending how you look at it, to burst into tears at any moment. 


***Consider this the mid-post warning! Some serious venting is about to occur! If you are personally feeling crabby this will most likely not lighten your mood!***


Last night Man-Friend and I were supposed to go over to our homeboy ko!’s house for a winter bbq. Do you know that I was excited to go hang with friends, yet dreading the questions of how the wedding/my life plans are coming? I was dreading talking to the people I love most, because I am sick of pretending to enjoy telling people about the same things that I talk about to every single one of my clients , every single day. I was dreading pretending that I am handling things. 

I really just wanted to go and perhaps drink a few ciders, relax, laugh, and preferably stay relatively quiet and just enjoy being surrounded by my homies. 

I was overcome by both disappointment and relief when a) E decided she was no longer going to drive me over there due to her desire to relax at home (understandably), and b) Man-Friend realized he had too much homework and could not go, as said homework is due today. These events lead me to the decision that I did not want to take two buses at 10pm alone, nor did I have the dough for a $15 cab ride each way.

I was disappointed not to see my friends, who I have not gotten to hang out with for real in a really long time. I was also totally saddened by my relief. I did not have any desire to hold a conversation, or even speak to anyone, for that matter.




Is this something I should be concerned about?

I have a confession to make. I miss my friends. I just don’t know how to find the time or energy to see some of them. I have some people who I am so consistent with… Some people I know I can guarantee at least a meal every few weeks to catch up … I am realizing that not only do I miss some people, but I miss having real conversations with all of my friends. 

I do not want to talk about work. I do not want to talk about the wedding. I want to hear about everyone else’s life. 

I do not want to keep stressing about how there are a RIDICULOUS number of people who are standing up in the wedding, and some of them  have been a huge part of my life in the past, but don’t seem to care now, but then there are people who I wanted to ask but the party got too large, who have been nothing but caring, helpful, and super supportive throughout my whole engagement. 

Throughout all of this I keep asking myself why Man-Friend and I don’t just do it our own way. Why can’t we go away for a weekend? Why don’t we just go downtown to a judge and then have everyone we know meet at a bar or restaurant? Why can’t we just have every single one of our friends dress up and walk in before us for the ceremony? Not in an official bridesmaid/groomsmen sort of way, but in a “hey! these are the people who care about us, who we love, who have gotten us to where we are in our lives, and have guided us together” kind of way. 1950to1954/1950to1954.htm 1950to1954/1950to1954.htm

Or do we put the kabosh on the whole party, and just have our siblings stand up?


I hate to say it, but this whole wedding has left me feeling overwhelmed, stressed, annoyed, confused, anxious, and honestly… kind of lonely. There is only one other married couple in my close knit group, so they are the only ones who have been able to fully understand everything. I find myself filling up with resentment toward so many parts of my life. I don’t know why this has to be this way. I am so sick of saying that we should just simplify things, to the response from most people saying that “we needed to do it the right way”. What the hell is the right way? The way that makes the bride feel lost and alone? The way that makes feeding your guests cost $20,000? The way that makes the bride fill up with anger and resentment that she isn’t getting enough support from her parents, friends, and fiance? Who says the bride has to figure everything out anyway?  I don’t think that is the right way… 

Which leads me to my next question? Am I not providing the support the people in my life need from me? Are my friends, parents, fiance wondering why I am not more there for them right now? Am I so wrapped up in all this that I have forgotten how to be a friend, daughter, sister, partner? 

And if I have, how do I come back from all of this? How can I stop this now? What makes this worth it? 

My apologies for this post. I know it is just a bitch fest. I had to get all of this off my chest, as writing it is keeping me from breaking my promise and smoking a cigarette. php?listing_id=13525321 php?listing_id=13525321

Stop throwing rocks! you look like an idiot!

February 7, 2009


One of my clients today informed me of some goings on at my old place of employment. There is someone there who is throwing rocks at me.


According to my lovely client T, she was informed, when requesting an appointment with me at the old spot, that I had stopped doing hair to go to school. I guess half of that is honest, I am back at school, but I am still definitely doing hair…. So, T went to one of my old co-workers for a haircut, who not only failed to wash her hair, but went on to tell T that the back of her hair was really thick, that she is not impressed with my haircut (specifically),and that T’s hair didn’t look very good. So, the stylist flat ironed T’s hair, even though T NEVER does that, cut her hair, and then refused to do anything upon T expressing discontent with her flat hair. 

Now, T is a smart woman. T realizes that the stylist is being unprofessional, not only with the lack of shampoo, but with the whole talkin’ shit about me throughout the whole haircut. Without any regard to the haircut she was given, T makes the executive decision to never go back to that salon for hair services.

With the help of a little angel who whispered in her ear, T was able to find me at the new spot. 




I was so happy to see T, as I have always enjoyed her company during our appointments. T told me about her experience she said, not to piss me off, but really just to be honest. Also, T told me so that I could get a good laugh…

You see, the last time T wanted to have her hair cut by me, I was already booked, so could not fit her in. The last time she got the haircut that she was informed was bad, was not created by me.

It was, in fact, created by the stylist who told her it was a terrible cut.

Et tu, Natalie?



February 6, 2009


Today has resulted in my highest ever visitor count! SHIT, YEA! Why are people suddenly stumbling upon this nonsense I write? 

One of my clients is pretty much the raddest, (yea, that word is officially fake), creative, and inspiring girly ever. Check her out asap here !

Also, Jamie is a part of something that I swear is going to be the next big thing in the world of technology, communication, and attention span disorders. Have any of you heard of the Printed Blog? It has been getting all sorts of press and is rolling out all over the country right now. How rad is that? If you are in Chicago, pick one up Tuesday mornings at select el stations. Jamie is working her ass off so that we can be more in the know about the world, the interweb, and how to fight boredom. 

I am so lucky to have clients that I am proud of. milliesbeautysalon

In other news, I think I might be losing my mind. I swear to God, I work, go to school, do homework, research caterers, pet the cats, bathe, sleep and then go back to work. I am making serious effort to stay positive, especially at work. I find that being positive with my clients is actually not that difficult, unless I get started on talking about the expense that is feeding a crew of wedding guests. Once that topic comes up it is all downhill from there. 

Man-Friend did surprise me with a rockin’ present tonight when I got home work tonight…

Longer bamboo knitting needles! Yes!

It was a pleasant surprise, to say the least. index.cfm?fuseaction=user... index.cfm?fuseaction=user...


Next weekend is the wedding shower. What?! I think that officially means that this is all really happening. I have see on the registry websites that a crockpot has been purchased. Get ready, I am going to be a slow cooking, fool! I am stoked about that, at least. I really wish I was not so terrible at being excited about the wedding. I swear it isn’t that I don’t want to get married.


I have to say though, that some of my homegirls have been super helpful… especially in the support department. My sister is the maid of honor and I truly don’t think this wedding would happen if she wasn’t involved. Also, my girl BB shares her knowledge and makes me officially feel like I am not a bad person. It is fantastic. MAB keeps me smiling through the whole thing, and reminding me that it is going to be okay. MRay reminds me that some people just love weddings for reasons I will never understand, but to respect that love for them because it is pure. E keeps me aware of the fact that I had a life before and will have a life after this crazy event, as well as reminds me of the fact that I am cool. 

I highly recommend these people to be added to one’s life. 

I am supposed to be doing homework right now.

Breakups are the worst…

February 3, 2009

Dear Heroes,

I am writing you this letter because I don’t know that I can say this to your face. You know that I have loved you for years, and I want to make sure that our time together will be looked back on with fond memories.  I have to tell you, though, that over the past few months, I have noticed a change in you. I truly care about your well-being, I want you to be successful and loved. The changes I see you making are ones that you put it mildly, concern me. 

I need you to know… when you make decisions you regret, going back in time does not always make things ok. Letting drama take control leads you to seem more like a soap opera, rather than filled with adventure. As more and more people come into your life, I have become overwhelmed, barely able to keep these characters stories straight. Also, this “future” you speak of that we should share together seems haphazardly thrown together, copying others, and no longer a pure and honest relationship.

With so much regret, I have to tell you that I think our time together has come to a close. I think back to when we first started together… always surrounded by friends, so much to talk about, so much to be excited about… As time has gone on, we have both grown, just not together. I look back on the parties that were had because of you, to the relationships that you sparked and supported, to the hours and hours and hours of time so many people have put in, all in your honor. Do you not appreciate us? Don’t you care?!?! How could you do this to me, leaving me dreading our time together. 

When I saw you waiting for me on Tivo, my heart felt heavy. I know that a heavy heart is not a healthy feeling to have for any relationship. With that in mind, I sadly say goodbye. I have loved you, but my feelings have changed. You and I have grown apart, and it is okay. Thank you for the years of love and entertainment. I had hopes of our relationship lasting longer, but people change, and the only thing we can do is accept it.

Good Luck, 

Thanks for the memories,



Some goodbyes are so tough…

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